Facial Hair: Pros and Cons

First off, it’s four in morning and even my friend, ambien, can’t seem to stifle and the constant hum I’m having in my lower exremities. So sclearly I’m not sleeping at the moment. With this in mind and I figured we could talk the pros and cons of having a beard.*

*I wrote these words over a year ago and while I still have a humming in my extemeties as I so elgantly put it, I haven’t taken ambien and insteaad have gone to the wise choice of liqour to cure all that ails you. So, here’s my advic e when it comes to a beard or ay facial hair.


IF YOU CAN GROW IT, DO IT. Seriously. I’ve been told by attractive women that I look so much better with a beard than I do without. Without a beard I look like some kind of test tube baby that will die in a matter of hours anyway. So, if you can, grow a beard. It’s in vogue now.


Now with that being said, if you have trouble growing facial hair, that’s OK. Fuck it. Shave it off and let those dimples shine. I only have a beard because without it I look like a 12 year old wearing a hoop skirt. I just enjoy hoop skirts.


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