Names for Your Pets

I was thinking about animals today, you know, because it’s Tuesday, and I started to see what names go with certain animals. This list is based on what would be the best name for your little friend and also what name attributes the most success with the creature. People will love the animal and think that you’re a genius for having attached this name. Seriously. This is completely science based. I’ve done research.

Rabbit: Gatsby

Turtle: Ramone the Magnificent

Ferret: Billy Jay Rascal

Salamander: Chico

Guinea Pig: Tex Bridges

Dog: Loyd

Cat: Cecil B

Smaller cat: Cecil Bits

Pig: Tatanka

Snake: Doll Eyes

Horse: Jonathan

Chimp: Chesterfield

Chicken: Soups

Bear: Shane

Mouse: Mr. Robinson

Gerbil: Raisin

Hamster: Liz Taylor

Spider: Wisconsin’s Own Phil Lopez

Fox: Loretta

Nicki Minaj: Onika

Siamese cat: Tabitha the Imperius

Parakeet: Tamagotchi

Tamagotchi: Parrot

Goldfish: Wanda

Tropical fish: Coraline

Fancy rat: Sir Chucklesworth

I hope these names help bring you an even more loving relationship with your pet. And as always, adopt your pets when you can. I hold bi-weekly auctions in my basement. See ya there.


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