Random Guy At Walmart and My Fractured Sense of Self

Tonight after I got home from my job I went to Walmart in order to purchase some cold medicine (my throat and chest kind of hurt and I have a little cough that’s  begun to hit puberty and is just being a typical disobeying jerk teen cough*)

So while at Walmart, the shop that’s got it all, I decided to also pick up some old spice body wash so I can smell clean when I go to dive bars and other places where body odor doesn’t matter for some reason. So while making my way to the check out I decided to check to see if they had any wallets I would be interested in considering that my current wallet is quite shoddy. The selection sucked and I slumped away towards the registers. But not before grabbing a bag of chips (TGI Fridays Cheddar and Bacon Potato Skins Snack Chips. So I get on line with my confusing bundle of goods and I’m standing behind a tallish black genetleman who happens to be wearing a light sweatshirt, loose but not to loose jeans and sneakers. And at this point you’re thinking that I’ve suddenly gone gay and started checking out the stranger in front of me. But I assure you that’s not the case.

See, I was more itnerested in the contents of his hand held basket. In it was a frozen pizza, a package of batteries, and a big bag of m&ms. And seriously, in that moment I wanted to be this man I knew/know nothing about. It troubled me a little when I tried to think about why I had the thought that life would be amazing if only I could be this person. And what was even more puzzling was the fact that he seemed well put together, had an appetite and had a remote that wasn’t working.

But then the answer came to me. For that split second I say a guy in his mid to late 20’s who was living for himself in a way that only a man would live. He stood in a long line at Walmart for a frozen Tombstone Pizza. He stood behind as the cashier fumbled with someone elses purchases for a bag of sweets. He didn’t mind that she had a little trouble getting the barcode to scan. He was jsut happy to have his batteries.

I bet he left Walmart thinking ‘that wasn’t such a bad experience. It could’ve been a lot worse’. Then I bet he got in his car (which I iamgine is better than mine) put his packages on the passenger seat and drove to his apartment where he lives alone. And while alone he cooked his pizza (probably a bit too much, the best way to enjoy Tombstone Pizza). And then As the pizza was cooking he probably popped some m&ms while he put the batteries into his remote and flipped on some NFL preseason game. As his dinner finished cooking he poured himself a glass of coke and then sat in a recliner and watched the game; pizza on one side, bowl of m&ms on the other, and the drink somehow balancing inbetween. And I bet he felt good about himself. Because it’s the simple thing in life that are great. Like getting out of Walmart without wanting to drive into the nearest embankment. Or eating m&ms. Or having pizza while watching football.

So as you can see, you should also be envious of this stranger. He’ll never not never appreciate it.


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