Archive for September, 2011

Forcing the Narrative*

September 29, 2011

*Forcing the Narrative or Simply Regarding My Last Two Blogs

Yesterday I realized that I hadn’t updated this thing here in several days. Feeling that there isn’t enough garbage on the internet I thought that I should spew (gross I know) some words. So I took an ambien and typed away. It went something like this: type type tappity tap type tap type tappity tap type. I started off talking about missing out on all of life’s offerings and I’m pretty sure while doing so I completely reversed whatever opinion I was making. Going with my constant MO, I decided not to go back and change the wording to make me look like someone who is at the least somewha understandiable. But no.

In fact I went on to write another article that I’m sure had something to sy though I’m not poisitive I know quite what the point was. Or I should have said that this thing I had written didn’t make since all the time and that it could have been explained away in a very easy way. But I didn’t becuse it’s me and I dodn’t believe in the integrity of my ramblings.


But to try to fix my last two entries I will quickly explain what I meant in a concise manner.

When I was speaking about missing out on life whether it’s your fault or just life in general that messes up you will find yourself missing out on possibble major things that could affect your life. It makes sense when you think about it. Taking chances and not taking chances changes what our life will be. Just daily things just like going for a walk somewhere where you don’t  normally go. How if you don’t take this walk you may miss out on something life changing. Or you may not. But the possibility is there.


As for my other posting it was dealing with ex gf’s I dated (obviously) and how I feel when I see a picture of them, or hear of their successes or failures. More about how I didn’t feel a thing. Possibly for the first time in awhile I just stopped caring. Which is human nature. To not care about the person who at one point couldn’t be without. The thought of how I just stopped caring and how it came out of the blue caught me off guard. But following with the mantra of it all, I still didn’t care.

And this made m start to think about morality and how when people say they want the best for an ex that they are just lying. It sounds good but there’s nothing of substance behind it. It doesn’t mean you wish negative thngs upon them. It’s just you stop caring enough to be bothered by their trials and triumphs. Fuck ’em, so to speak.


I didn’t feel nuthin’

September 28, 2011

I was looking at a few pictures of an ex on facebook for no apparent reason whatsoever. There are no lingering feelings, not crazy anger over how it ended, nothing that would get you to believe that I care about this person in anyway way. Which is odd, because I feel exactly like that. I have no comment on the whole time when we were together. Sure, we were happy, sure we went through bad times that eventually got the best o fus. But I don’t really recall a lot of it. Yes, there are moments that I remember. But those moments don’t do anything to me. I don’t get sad. I don’t get mad. I don’t get annoyed, or happy. I just move along with my business.

Which is odd cause I was positive I’d feel some form of emotion for this person forever. But I guess that’s just not the case. Finding out that that time in my life has just become a big blank nothing doesn’t make me happy and it doesn’t make me sad. It just is and I don’t care. Which is strange. But it’s also survival. You can’t feel like shit forever. Nor can you harbor negative feelings about someone. Eventually I think we just say fuck it and get on with our lives. Just without that special someone there anymore. So, I guess there’s that.

All Those Things I will Forever Be Missing Out On

September 28, 2011

I discovered a great record today. The record I found is called Union City Breath and is by the rock group Crazy Arm. It’s simply fantastic. And whil I could sit here and tell you how good this CD is and why it’s as good as I’m making it out to be, I’d rather not. There’s other websites and sources for that. What I want to talk about is all the amazing things that I’ve missed out on. Like, think about how many things that you could have partaken in and decided not to and then regret it. Like how I regret not going to Washing DC for a political rally/protest. I didn’t really think that I agreed with everything that they were saying but I could have spent some time in the capital and enjoing the sites. So I guess I should have gone.

Or what about all those awful things that you don’t know are even going on. Like how you take a certain way home and if you had taken this other way you would have discovered something awesome. Whether it be a neat store, a scenic trail, or you meeting a stranger who becomes the love of your life. You could have discovered these things, but you decided to just go your typical way home and missed out on great things.

I kind of feel I’ve been missing out on great things for awhile now. I’m not sure what I’m really doing that’s any different. But, I just kind of chosse the norm rather than the other option. Which is stupid because the norm kind of sucks.

So fuck the norm and the usual way of doing things. Do shit different. You might like it.

Thoughts On the 2008 Presidential Election

September 21, 2011

*Note: At the time that I started this the time line given in the first paragraph were correct, but being that I got lazy and never posted it the first paragraph isn’t using an accurate time frame. Sure, I could have re-written the opening, but, I’m lazy and didn’t want to. I apologize for my lack of will to do things right.

Last week President Obama gave a speech to a joint session of congress where he spoke about the economy and his plan to right the currently failing ship that is America’s business world. The day before that MSNBC hosted a republican presidential debate which prominently featured Rick Perry (Gov-Tex) and Mitt Romney (Gov-Mass). With all these going ons involving Washington DC and the political world I found myself thinking back to the presidential election of 2008.

When the debates were going on for the dem’s pick for their candidate I found myself really enjoying a particular senator from Indiana. He seemed honest and intelligent and had a prolific grasp on speaking.  While I had never heard of Senator Barack Obama, I felt as if I knew him and was eager to learn more about him.

As far as the republicans go, I found myself enamored with Congressman Ron Paul. It was his election bid that started me on the path to finding a political party which represented my views (libertarian). Obviously Paul didn’t get the nomination and the republicans went with Senator John McCain. I liked McCain when he ran for the oval office in 2000 and decided to hear if he could instill the same level of interest I had eight years before. As it turned out, 2008 McCain wasn’t 2000 McCain.

So when I went to the polls on election Tuesday I wasn’t 100% sure who I would end up voting for. In the end I voted for McCain. And I went home knowing that New Jersey would go for Obama and that the majority of the country would also go for Obama and he would be the next president. But I still voted for McCain because, well, I guess I agreed with him more.

But as I watched all the events surrounding the night, I was caught up in it all. All the hoopla revolving around president-to-be Obama made me wish I was on of the people who had voted for him. I guess you could say, for a moment, I became disappointed in myself for my lack of support for him. I felt as if I had missed out on something big.

As his presidency began I wished the new president well. The country would do better with a strong president, even if I didn’t agree with him many issues. But as time went on, I found myself really disliking some of his major policies. And while I still like the man on a personal level (meaning I bet he would be a fun guy to grab a beer with) I was happy that I hadn’t casted a ballot in his favor.

But as I thought about this I realized that I still regretted the decision I made that Novemeber. See, while I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be casting a vote for Obama, I was equally hesitant in the vote I did cast for McCain. McCain wasn’t who I wanted to be presdident. He was just the only candidate who stood any chance against Obama. And in reality my vote for McCain was a more a vote against Obama. And I didn’t even dislike Obama all that much at the time anyway.

So I regret that I voted for one of the two big names just because they were the only people who would ever have a legitimate chance. Which is kind of sad. That we have to compromise on our positions and beliefs just to have someone we’ll never know win what often comes down to a popularity contest.

Needless to say, I have a feeling that my vote this year will find itself somewhere beyond the first two columns on ballott. Hell, it may even be casted in pajamas on my couch. And though not likely a winner, at least it will be a vote of conviction.

September 11th 2001: Never Forget

September 12, 2011

How to End a Relationship

September 7, 2011

A romantic relationship is without a doubt one of the most beautiful things in this world. A relationship just starting to bud is one of the most exciting times in a person’s life. But what happens when the relationship starts to go awry? What are you to do when you’re just not feeling it anymore? Obviously you need to end the relationship, but breaking up with someone is a terrible time and hassle. Why not get your partner so sick of you that they can’t wait to do it yourself?

The first thing you’ll want to do is not return their phone calls. This will lead them to feel you’re neglecting them. They may even feel you are too busy with another male or female to answer your phone. Once the seed of doubt is planted, it will be pushed to the back of your partners head and will fester there like a tumor.

Eventually you will have some guilt about not answering your partner’s calls, so on the seventeenth call, answer. Your partner will be distressed and ask why you didn’t answer your phone. Stay cool and say it must have been on “silent” and you swore it was on “vibrate”. Your partner will believe you and say how it happens to them too.

To make it up to your lover, tell them you’ll take them out to dinner somewhere nice. This will make them excited and they will forget about how you seemed to fall off the face of the earth. Tell them that they should dress nicely because you’re taking them to a very prestigious steak house that is fit for a king or queen. Also, make sure that they are ready by eight o’clock because you have reservations When the time comes to pick them up, don’t go. Let them wait for you wondering if you have forgotten about them. Don’t answer the phone the next two times they call either. On the third time they call answer the phone and apologize profusely. Explain to them that a family pet escaped the house and you were looking for it. After you have calmed them down take them out to the nearest Burger King and buy them an angus beef hamburger. When they look at you in disgust put a crown on their head and say “I told you this place was fit for a king”.

As you eat your food, look around to make sure there are other people in the restaurant. The closer the people are the better. After you survey the room, start to ompenly complain about how you always have to pay for everything. Make sure to raise your voice while doing this. When your partner tells you to calm down, do the opposite and get louder. Keep this up till there is a full fledge vocal war going on in Burger King. After you have had your fill of arguing, get up angrily  and throw your food away and motion for them to do the same. As they throw their trash away, trip them. Make it seem like an accident and you’re jsut a clumsy person. Make sure that as they start to fall to choke back a laugh.

On the car ride home, talk about a person of the opposite sex who was in the restaurant. Say you liked something about them a lot and how you wish your partner would do the same. Do this until you can see that your partner is getting upset and then change subjects abruptly and ask them how their day was. When they start to answer, turn up the radio, proclaiming your favorite song is on and they can tell you when it’s over. When the song finishesleave the radio blasting, saying they’re playing all your favorites tonight.

When you finally get back to your partner’s house invite, yourslef in. Your partner will let you in for fear of being a bad boyfriend or girlfriend. When you get inside the house, start to set the mood. Hint at what you want and then go for it like a cheetah attacking a gazelle. If you play your cards right you’ll be getting lucky in a matter of minutes.

After you are finished making love to your partner pat them on the head saying “better luck next time”. Tell them that everyone has “off nights” and you won’t hold it against them. If they ask you to stay the night say that you are too tired and think you should be getting home. Complain about a bad back and how your own mattress is the only one that can relieve your pain. If they offer to give you a massage, smile and make a reference that their hands are like meat hooks. Tell them that you you’ll call them as soon as you get home.

When you finally do get home, turn on the television and get lost in a program. After this show is over call your partner saying how you’re sorry, but your favorite show was on and you couldn’t pry yourself away from it.

If you do everything stated here, you hould have no problem losing that special somone in your life. It’s very important to note that you’ll need to be absolutely sure you have no desire to speak to the person again, since you won’t be hearing from them anytime soon. If for some reason they still want to be with you, then you should probably just fake your emotions and stay with them. Sure you’ll be unhappy, but if you meet someone that dedicated they probably deserve to be loved. Or therapy.

Random Guy At Walmart and My Fractured Sense of Self

September 2, 2011

Tonight after I got home from my job I went to Walmart in order to purchase some cold medicine (my throat and chest kind of hurt and I have a little cough that’s  begun to hit puberty and is just being a typical disobeying jerk teen cough*)

So while at Walmart, the shop that’s got it all, I decided to also pick up some old spice body wash so I can smell clean when I go to dive bars and other places where body odor doesn’t matter for some reason. So while making my way to the check out I decided to check to see if they had any wallets I would be interested in considering that my current wallet is quite shoddy. The selection sucked and I slumped away towards the registers. But not before grabbing a bag of chips (TGI Fridays Cheddar and Bacon Potato Skins Snack Chips. So I get on line with my confusing bundle of goods and I’m standing behind a tallish black genetleman who happens to be wearing a light sweatshirt, loose but not to loose jeans and sneakers. And at this point you’re thinking that I’ve suddenly gone gay and started checking out the stranger in front of me. But I assure you that’s not the case.

See, I was more itnerested in the contents of his hand held basket. In it was a frozen pizza, a package of batteries, and a big bag of m&ms. And seriously, in that moment I wanted to be this man I knew/know nothing about. It troubled me a little when I tried to think about why I had the thought that life would be amazing if only I could be this person. And what was even more puzzling was the fact that he seemed well put together, had an appetite and had a remote that wasn’t working.

But then the answer came to me. For that split second I say a guy in his mid to late 20’s who was living for himself in a way that only a man would live. He stood in a long line at Walmart for a frozen Tombstone Pizza. He stood behind as the cashier fumbled with someone elses purchases for a bag of sweets. He didn’t mind that she had a little trouble getting the barcode to scan. He was jsut happy to have his batteries.

I bet he left Walmart thinking ‘that wasn’t such a bad experience. It could’ve been a lot worse’. Then I bet he got in his car (which I iamgine is better than mine) put his packages on the passenger seat and drove to his apartment where he lives alone. And while alone he cooked his pizza (probably a bit too much, the best way to enjoy Tombstone Pizza). And then As the pizza was cooking he probably popped some m&ms while he put the batteries into his remote and flipped on some NFL preseason game. As his dinner finished cooking he poured himself a glass of coke and then sat in a recliner and watched the game; pizza on one side, bowl of m&ms on the other, and the drink somehow balancing inbetween. And I bet he felt good about himself. Because it’s the simple thing in life that are great. Like getting out of Walmart without wanting to drive into the nearest embankment. Or eating m&ms. Or having pizza while watching football.

So as you can see, you should also be envious of this stranger. He’ll never not never appreciate it.