After a good night of decent drinking (I’m not ripped but I’m happily buzzed, though coming down from it at the moment) I came home and made myself something to eat (left over pizza from Papa Johns) and flipped on the television and alternated between Geraldo Rivera covering the Casey Anthony trial and The Blair Witch Project. I found that these two programs were oddly similar though I’m not sure why. I also thought about writing about these similarities but realized it would basically just be mostly incoherent rambling (a typical thing when it comes to me) and decided not to do it. So instead I went to my laptop and decided to check the three new emails that I received. When going onto Yahoo.com (my email provider) I saw on their homepage a story labeled Confessions: 7 Reasons Why Women Cheat. You can read the article here. Because I have a tendency to write about various topics slightly (or overtly) tinged with thoughts on relationships I figured I should talk about this. Why the hell not, right?
This is the list that they provided and my thoughts on each of them. They mostly won’t be that detailed. Probably because I have my own ideas on why women (and people in general) cheat on their partners. I’ll get to that at the end.
1. There’s no passion.
OK. This doesn’t seem like a totally unreasonable reason for straying from someone you’re in a relationship with. If there is no excitement in the relationship, you’ll get bored. When you get bored your eyes start to wander and you start to wonder what else is out there. And then next thing you know your tongue is in someone elses mouth and your waking up in a strange bed.
2. To delay a breakup.
At first I didn’t really get this, but then I thought about it and I understood it (sort of). When you’re with someone who you care about and you start to have feelings for someone else you’ll postpone your departure from that first someone because you still care about them. And when you care about someone you don’t want to see them hurt, even if you care about someone a bit more. So you delay ending it while you begin to do things you do with the new person that you did with your current/soon to be former.
3. Because absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder.
Distance between you and the one you love sucks. It hurts and it makes you feel pretty awful. Sure there is an excitement that comes with it (I mean, you two will certainly make it work because your love is stronger than all the other people who couldn’t take distance. Right?), but when it comes down to it you can grow apart because of the miles between you. You find people closer who are able to fill the emptiness that your long distance lover can’t fill anymore. So you act on your instincts and cheat.
4. To avoid being left out in the cold.
Basically, you see someone else and keep the person you were seeing exclusively because you need insurance in case the other relationship doesn’t work out. No one likes to be alone (despite what they may say) and having something to fall back on can be nice. Especially if you’re comfortable with someone. Sure you may think things could be better with someone else, but that aspect of comfort and safety are just so damn appealing you don’t want to give it up. So you don’t. You basically hold try outs well keeping your trusty starter.
5. To make a break from a bad relationship.
No one likes to be treated badly. This is especially true when you’re in a relationship with someone. You’ve shown yourself in your most vulnerable state and to be ridiculed is not something that someone who shared that vulnerability with you should do. So you begin to notice people that treat you nicely. And this transcends just friendly meetings and makes its way into more emotional feelings. One things leads to another and you find yourself being intimate with this kind person while you’re still with the unkind person.
6. To find that missing piece.
Along with being treated badly no one likes to feel empty. Even if it’s only a partially empty feeling, it’s not good. So when you’re in a relationship and things in your life seem right, if you still have this empty feeling you’ll begin looking at everything around you to find what’s wrong. Your significant other can be a movble piece when it comes to this. And plus as the women in the article, Lizzie, points out; if you don’t like the beach you can’t be with me. Because the beach is totally awesome and who needs land dwellers.
7. To give him a taste of his own medicine.
You’re with someone who you know had a past where they weren’t always the most faithful person. They also possibly sowed their seed often with many different people and you thought that things would change once you and them were together. And they don’t. And you find out. So you fool around with someone else and make sure they know it. Because, well, they deserve it.
These are 7 reasons that you can wrap your mind around. They make sense. You can sit down and say, you know what, this is a good reason to cheat on someone.
But the problem with all these examples of cheating is that cheating is just a shitty thing to do. Really. You can justify the action all you want, but it still sucks. It may not make you worse than the person who treated you like garbage or as bad as the person who was busy getting busy with other people when you were together, but it doesn’t excuse your actions.
The simplest (and I know it can be hard to do this) thing to do is to just end it with the person. If you find yourself in a position where you’re having feelings for someone else and you want to explore those feelings more, don’t string someone else along for the ride. Let them go and go about your exploration. It’s OK that things didn’t work out with you and your boyfriend/girlfriend. They’ll find someone else in time. But cheating just makes you a jackass. And do you really want to be remembered as a jackass? I didn’t think so. You’re respectable and a decent person. So do the right thing and just let the ship you were on sail without you. Tugging another boat will just get messy and make the ocean more polluted.