Cell Phones and the Knucklheads that Use Them

The World Health Organization issued a statement saying that using cell phones can “possibly cause cancer”. Which is to say that cell phones pose the same cancer risk as lead, engine exhaust and chloroform. Hearing this news slightly upset me, mostly because I use a lead based coating on my cell phone and have conversations by the tail pipes of running automobiles (I’m looking for work in an industrial plant where chloroform can be absorbed).

Reading the news story I was drawn to the comments section on the bottom of the page (I’m pretty sure I’m drawn to these comments because I have a deep seeded hatred for myself). A female (at least the anonymous person claimed to be a female) made an odd statement about President Obama and then said how she was going to throw her cell phone in the trash along with her diet coke. She was being ironic, of course. But her comment made me think about what the fall out would be if people learned that cell phones really do increase the risk of cancer.

I bet that nothing would change within the general public. Cell phone companies would probably be scurrying about looking for a way to make phones safer (this would be included in commercials involving 23 year old models in polka dot dresses), but I think people would generally be unaffected by the news. I mean, some households don’t have land line telephones. They rely fully on cell phones. I doubt people would change their ways just because of an “increased” chance. People still smoke and there is apparently a lot of evidence that smoking isn’t healthy (to be fair there is also a lot of evidence showing that smoking makes you look and feel a lot cooler).

The truth is we’re going to learn that everything on this planet, whether man made or not, is possibly compromising our health. And instead of feeling awful that pretty much everything is trying to put you in the ground, you should say fuck it and just keep on living. That’s what I’m doing. Because, you know what? No one really calls me much anyway.

So rats to popularity. Being a loner could possibly save your life.

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