The Patriot Act, Presidential Signatures, and the Coming Robot Insurection

A few days ago congress approved an extension of The Patriot Act. President Obama was overseas at the time of the extensions passing and therefore was unable to actually sign the bill into law. So, for the first time ever, he authorized the use of an auto-pen to sign the bill thus making it legal. Some people have asked about the auctual legality of a document that you don’t physically sign. Is the fact that President Obama didn’t use his own hand to sign the bill make that document not valid? Could he, as Mark Knoller asked, have his daughter Sasha sign a bill as long as he verified her doing so?

Well, seeing that I’m no expert of issues involving law (one course in high school does not make you a lawyer) I don’t really know what the answer is. With that being said I don’t really think this is as big of a deal as people are making it out to be. The president signed this machine and verified that he would like his signature (even if it is a copy) to be used. I feel that a lot of the complaints he is receiving over this are from people who will take anything this president does as a negative. He’s a jerkoff socialist who hates America most likely because he wasn’t even born in this country. Am I right or am I right angry people on message boards!?

Look, I didn’t vote for Obama in the election and I am not a supporter of most of the things he has done while Commander and Chief. I haven’t been a supporter of (pretty much) all the major legislation that has passed through congress. I really don’t like that the Patriot Act got an extension. The act represents a style of intrusive government that I am not and never will be comfortable with. But calling out the president because he authorized the use of a machine that holds his real signature to mark this bill seems childish to me. There are much bigger problems that we should be dealing with. Like the fact that a machine has the presidents signature and can sign for a JC Penny credit card.

What will we do when this machine realizes it has the ability to sign for the person holding the most powerful office in the world? What will we do when this pen wonders what it would be like to see Stalingrad and realizes he could just book a flight? What do we do when it signs for a package not addressed to it?

Or what if someone steals the autopen? What then? I like to think of myself as a good guy, but I would do a lot of things that would probably not look all that great if I had the ability to duplicate the presidents signature. My christmas cards would get a lot nicer. So would the “charity” I have yet started (most likely because my attempts at getting the president’s signature up to this point have all been denied).

I don’t really think that when this machine realizes it holds this powerful signature it will do world ending things like start deploying nuclear missles or creating more robots armed with various weapons to mow down people in the street. I just think they’ll start buying things that they shouldn’t. And when the country is trillions of dollars in debt, I don’t think a parka from Kenneth Cole is a wise purchase. I understand your need to look classy, machines, but perhaps you can try being practical as well.

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