Genius I am Not

After hearing about the controversy stemming from the comments made by Lars von Trier at the Cannes Film Festival, I felt inclined to write about it all. So I started doing some research on the festival and von Trier and controversial films. While I wanted to comment on it, I got wrapped up in the film community. So while I read about dogme 95, unsimulated sex, avant-garde, and other pseudo-intellectual art bullshit, I stumbled upon the 2011 Mel Gibson classic, The Beaver. The film was directed by John Hinckley Jr. heart throb Jodie Foster. So I read up on Jodie Foster and realized that a lot of people feel that she is a member of Mensa. Not knowing what Mensa was (I thought it was related to Kabbalah) I looked it up.

Mensa is a society that is for people who score higher than the upper 98% of society on standardised IQ tests. On the website for the group, they offer up a 30 question test for people to take. They say it’s just for fun, but it’s really not that fun of a time when you take it. Which I did. Because I am smart. Or at least pretend to be.

I answered 19 of the 30 questions correctly. I don’t really know where that ranks my intelligence, which answers a lot about how smart I really am: I have no fucking clue how to make any sense of my 19. I don’t know how to make that into a percentage. I don’t know how to figure out an intelligent way to assess my standing when it comes to intelligence.

This finding kind of makes me sad, but I also understand it. I’m not very smart. I have a somewhat decent vocabulary and can sometimes put together a coherent sentence. Most times I fail though (I have 150+ examples of that on this site).

So if you see me swatting at pineapples in Pathmark (I do this every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday night) tell me that I’m smart. It’ll make me feel kind of better about actually being a dumb-ass.

A bandage for my hand would also be ideal.


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