Harold Camping, May 21 2011, and the Grabbing of Ankles

God is coming back on May 21st to retrieve all believers. Then He is coming back on October 21st to destroy the world and whatever is left over from the first trip on May 21st. None of this is Biblical mind you. Just the ramblings of the oft wrong Christian commentator, Harold Camping.

I say oft wrong because he’s fairly infamous for proclaiming the end of the world would occur on September 6th, 1994. This, as you already know, indeed happened. We have since that date all just been mucking around trying to figure out why Heaven is exactly the same as Earth (Heaven booboos hurt just as bad if not worse than Earth booboos).

So, as you can already tell, the sun is going to come up on Saturday and everything is going to be exactly the same. God isn’t coming back. And I’m not just basing my thought on the rather large blunder of one man. Through out histroy people have been saying the world is going to end. They have all been wrong. The Earth is kicking our ass when it comes to this game of hyoptheticals and truth.

Something else has been bothering me about this subject. Because Harold Camping is standing on a mighty large soap box saying these things (which he certainly has the right to). some people get the idea the all of Christianity believes in what this one nut job thinks. That’s not the case. Christians know that their is no date given in the Bible that pinpoints when God will return. Hell, most Christians know that the word rapture is never uttered in the Good Book. The only reason the idea of the rapture is even discussed is because it is vaguely mentioned in I Thessalonians. And I mean very vaguely.

But with this being known, people will still attack Christianity because of this tools prediction. Your mighty God can’t even get the date straight. And then they’ll get hit with some hard, inaminate object. But not really, because that’s not the Christian thing to do. You’ll probably just shrug your shoulders and wonder who that strange man wearing all black and penny loafers was.

Just a note, I was going to post the actual equation that Mr. Camping used when coming to this date. It really has no rhyme or reason and is pretty much just full os assumption and I guess some kind of wishful thinking. So instead of putting that here, I figured I’d treat you all with an equation that has been tried and prooved. So here, something that will actually help you.

The equation looks like this: CIE + SIE2 / TB = W (cocaine induced emptiness plus sober induced emptiness divided by tiger blood equals winning).

You’re welcome America.

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