Random Questions Answered

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: The big problem with this question is that no one knows what kind of life the chicken lived. No one knows if the chicken has crossed this road many times before or if this is the first time. No one even knows if the road the chicken is crossing is a real road or metaphorical road that could symbolize some kind of journey that this chicken needs to take. It’s pretty much impossible to answer this question. Even if you were there and witnessed the crossing of the road you wouldn’t know the real objective of the chicken’s action.

Or it could be that the chicken needed to go across the street to pick up it’s Chinese take out.

Q: If you had to be an animal which animal would you be?

A: People often answer this question by naming their favorite animal. If I used this logic I would say that I would want to be an elephant or a manatee. Clearly, these are not good answers. As much as I love elephants, elephants never forget (thanks peta). As someone who already lives in the past too much I think that becoming an elephant would only make things worse.

As far as the manatee goes, they aren’t very good at avoiding trouble. They always find themselves in shallow water and being beaten up by boats and other things. It’s sad. But they do have a baseball team (albeit a minor league team) named after them. So there’s that.

So I guess I’d be a cockapoo. They’re adorable and tons of fun. And their name is silly but their hearts are not.

Q: Why is there something rather than nothing?

A: The void that the term creates in the mind of nothing is one that is hard for many people to grasp. Look at how humans deal with death; the big nothing. We have religion which allows us to have a grasp that life doesn’t end with our final breath. We leave behind the things we’ve done so in a way we live on through death.

Nothing is empty while something seems like a tangible thing. And plus, have you ever felt an emotion? How could that be considered nothing?

And have you ever seen Lord of the Rings? Boy, wasn’t that something?

Q: Can the existence of God be proven or disproven?

A: No. This is where the concept of faith enters the equation.

Q: Is there a purpose to us as humans?

A: Yes. If you take away humans the world would change. Some would say it would be better, but I got a feeling that the earth would find a way to mess things up on its on.

And have you ever made someone smile? There you go. That’s your purpose.

Q: Why are all question about the universe as a whole undecidable?

A: Questions are formed with various thoughts in mind. Likewise, an answer is formed with different thoughts in mind. Each of these thoughts are different for each person and this is why we often find that discussions turn into debates. When looking at a concept as vast as the universe it is hard to find an answer that will satisfy everyone. This is why questions about the universe seem to be undecidable.

Q: Keith, why did you start with two fairly silly questions and spiral into the philosophical?

A: While I wanted this to be something with stupid questions with wordy but still stupid answers, I was lured into doing an internet search for philosophical questions. I used one site, http://able2know.org/topic/148090-1, mostly because some of the questions made me mad and also because I was lazy and didn’t want to go to another site with pseudo-intellectuals asking questions only to be answered by more questions.

See, while I think there is definately a place for philosophy I also think that some of these mysterious/tough questions aren’t really that difficult to answer. Yes some of them are completely reliant on someone’s personal experience or prior beliefs, but that doesn’t make the question anymore difficult to answer. It’s just that the answers are all different. No mystery, just different views on life.


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