Robert Frost and the Road “Less” Traveled

Before I begin my onslaught of slander, I would lik to say that Robert Frost was an amazing poet and one who has inspired me in ways that I haven’t fully grasped till recently. His poem The Road Not Taken is inspirational and beautiful and just a pleasure to read.

But that’s where my infatuation with the writer ends. The truth of the matter is that Robert Frost has deceived the American public for too long and his work needs to be rexamined without adoring eyes. We need to look at it with eyes that aren’t dodging serious questions just because the poem is a nice, polite read.

Let’s get some facts out of the way right at the get-g0: Robert Frost was a man and not a space creature that some would like you to think he was (mainly the company Google). Robert Frost also did have legs so he was able to walk these paths that have now become famous. It is also true that on a fateful day he found himself walking and had to chose a path. Persinally, I don’t like making decisions so I would have just turned around and went back to where I had left.

What people don’t realize is that while Mr. Frost makes these roads seem like trails you would find in the woods (you know, the trails where you find crumpled Bud Ice cans and dime bags) they were in reality much nicer paths. Sure you could argue that nature is beautiful and we should enjoy the vastness of it, but I’m going to disagree. Nature doesn’t like you. Nature, if it had its way, would have you killed. Seriously. Watch The Happening. It was just an awful movie.

So let’s discuss what these two paths were really like and why Robbie chose the path he did. Let’s start with the more traveled road.

For starters, it had a nice cobblestone path to walk on. There were water fountains and public restrooms that were well kept. If you continue down the path you’ll see nice homes with neatly cut lawns and American flags flying high. Go a bit further and you’ll reach a public school that is noted for it’s amazing SAT scores (clearly I did not go there seeing as my reading comprehension is equal to a cornered animal that is dimwitted). Past the school there’s a Wendy’s fast food chain where you can get many tasty treats for a dollar.

So that’s the road he chose not to go down. Mainly because saying you walked down a main street in a beautiful community doesn’t make you sound cool. Robert Frost has been called the James Dean of James Dean, meaning that he was the original James Dean and king of cool. But we won’t get into that now because there is another road that we need to speak of. The path he walked.

OK, at the beginning of the path it was a bit of wilderness. There was shrubbery and berries on plants that would probably kill you if you ate them. But besides these berries and a gaggle of disapproving deer, that’s where the treachory ends. And really, the deer probably only looked so stern to try to get the increasingly agitated Frost to stop trying to eat the poison berries. It wasn’t even a big bush. It was one that he could easily walk over. Or as is custom for poets to do, skip over the bush while humming a snazzy tune.

Just past this shrub there wasn’t much to look at. The area was pretty bare but there were signs that they were developing the property. You could tell this because there were several roped off plots and homes that had just been started to be built. It’s rumored that Frost went into one of these unfinished homes and took a chair and dust pan and threw them into a near by lake. No one knows why he did this, but I think he probably did it because throwing things into lakes is kind of fun, with the splash and all.

But the area isn’t all just homes being built. At the end of the path there is a 7/11 and a Dairy Queen. It’s clear that Frost chose this path because he wanted a DK Blizzard with Reeses Pieces and chocolate syrup. The greedy bastard also wanted to go into the 7/11 and buy a pack of gum with all the pennies that they have at the front counter. He chewed that gum and spit it out onto the ground and a small child stepped on it barefoot and had to live a life of knowing that a part of Robert Frost will always be a part of him. Those thoughts can keep you up at night. I know. I’m that boy.

So let’s stop pretending that this path that Robert Frost took was a glorious one with more to see. It wasn’t. It was jsut an underdeveloped town that had some sweets and loose change.


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