While I was staring at my site stats (meaning how many people have visited it and such) I noticed that it lets you know how many people found the site through a search engine. It also shows you what they searched for.
Apparently a lot of people (meaning 2 or 3) are interested in “Pig Lady Road”. I can’t blame them. I had a wonderful time when I went. So wonderful that I had to share my experience with the “world” via a post on here. And now strangers are able to see how much fun it was for me to go to this quiet road where nothing happened.
Which got me thinking: What if people were searching serious subjects and stumbled onto this site and read my ramblings? I went through a phase where I wrote about drugs a lot. I’m not sure why, but I did. And it was mostly tongue in cheek (though I still think everyone being on opium would be pretty awesome). But what if someone went online and searched for information about getting off of drugs and they found this garbage? It wouldn’t help them get off of drugs. In fact, it would probably cause them to do more drugs (it would actually probably just make them get off the internet for a bit. Or just go to a different site. This is all forgettable.).
The sad part of the idea of people stumbling upon this mess of incoherent thought is that it makes me happy. I feel better about myself because complete strangers have happened to find their way here. They clicked a link and took the time to look (they probably accidentaly clicked the link and then quickly ‘x’d out of it).
This thinking leads me to think that I must be a pretty pathetic individual. 2 or 3 people reading this gives me a sense of purpose. And that’s sad. I know that it’s often the little things that matter most in life, but I think they’re reserved for more important feelings than the apparent satisfaction I feel for a couple of hits to my site. Little things always meant things like holding a door for someone you care about. Or brining someone soup when they’re sick. Or killing a tiny person because they looked at someone you care about the wrong way. Things like that. Not seeing that a few people people clicked a link.
But it is what it is and I guess I’ll take what I can get. I may not be curing disease, but I’m doing…something. On a semi-related note, I may just have a stroke if 50 people read this on one day.
So, if you hate me I suggest you come by and read.
*I never apologize. I meant to, but then I got incredibly focused on myself. I’ll apologize for that.