It’s easy. Don’t get me anything!
Instead, just head over to this blog and give it a read. That’s all you have to do. Hell, even if you hate my guts, check it out. I’m sure it will give you even more to hate me for.
And besides, I base my self worth on how many people read this. The most that have glanced at this web page on one day was 31 (I think. 31 or 32. Let’s go with 31 for modesty). If I were to get maybe 35, wow would my self-essteem sky rocket.
It doesn’t take much to click on a link. It takes so little effort it’s like you’re hardly doing anything.
Of course I would love if you read what I wrote. I think I make some stupidly valid points. And if you come from a Libertarian political mindset then you might like me even more. Or if you like to laugh (which I know you do) you can have a few at the expense of me.
If you happen to see me in public after reading my blog you can scoff when I tell you that it’s hard being a freelance writer which is why I’m working my awful low-paying job and writing on this blog for free.
You could even lie to me and make me smile by saying that while you don’t always agree with the points I present, you respect that I present them in such a focused manner.
You could say that you think my dream of writing for a paying publication (like the Huffington Post, Alternative Press, The Weekly Standard, The Onion, etc…) are very close to becoming reality.
Or you could go point by point about something I wrote and rip me to shreads. That way I’ll know you at least took the time to read it.
Or you could ignore this. We can have 31 people out of the billions on the planet be the only ones to ever lets their eyes linger on this website.
I guess that’s kind of neat. Being one of the few to ever see something. If I were good at math I’d work out a fraction and the point would be even more staggering.
But alas, no fractions will be shown. But imagine if they were? Imagine that.