I Could Never Be A Woman

Or a girl for that matter and it’s not just because I can’t afford the surgery. It’s because the thought of pregnancy skeeves me.

I know that this would be different if I were married and trying to have children. That the whole thing would be a miracle rather than something incredibly animalistic brought on by something that is also animalistic. But I’m not married and I’m definately not looking to have a little hybrid version of myself crawling around my floors.

The thought of having something grow inside of me, latching on and feeding off my intake just bothers me. I think of pregnancy and just see that scene from Alien where the alien pops out of the stomach. Or, since I imagine my kid having style and class, it would be like the scene from Spaceballs where the alien pops out of the stomach.

So that’s why I could never be a female. Because I don’t want to get pregnant and I’m positive I would forget to take my pill. And then aliens might pop out of my stomach.

Seriously. That’s how I was born.

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