It’s been several days since I’ve littered this space with pointless nothings about something that is really nothing. So in light of that fact I feel the need to say something even if I have nothing to say. Because of this lack of ideas (and the fact it’s 10 past 6 in the morning and I haven’t slept and I’m pretty sure I’ve been hallucinating for a good 30 minutes) let’s examine the world of hobbits.
I would say that these furry footed cave dwellers are pretty alright. All they are concerned with is being comfortable, eating delicious food, drinking, telling stories and laughing, and of course, smoking from those long pipes of theirs.
Which makes me think that people should start acting like hobbits. And by that I mean that we should all probably smoke what hobbits smoke. Which I’m pretty sure was opium.
I am not a habitual drug user of any kind (not really sure why I put habitual in there) but I have had my wisdom teeth removed and the pills they gave me for the pain made the whole shin-dig worth while. Everything was simply good. I had no worries. The pain in my mouth and anywhere else was gone and I could focus on the finer things in life; like things just being cool.
I offer two reasons why the idea of a world equally medicated is a good, if not great, idea. The first is there would be less fighting. Sure, there will probably be some dicks out there, but they’ll just be annoying rather than violent. And it’ll be easier to ignore them when you’re sitting in a chair and having your mind drift from one thought to another in a perfectly sensible fashion. Imagine a world where terrorists were always stoned.
OK, I know you’re probably thinking, ‘but Keith most opium comes from countries where terrorism is prevalent and some of the highest profiled terrorists are funded by the trafficing of opium. Well, yeah. You’re right about that. But if everyone was “doping” there would be no high profile person to contrive all the propaganda that goes into running a successful terrorist regime. And think about some of the worst people in the world on a substance that makes everything alright. Maybe they wouldn’t be as bad.
My second reason as to why this idea isn’t all that bad is that we’d all be dead a lot sooner. That may sound incredibly cynical, but populations dying younger isn’t the worst thing. As technology advances so does life expectancy. As life expectancy goes up so does consumption of food and natural resources. As the consumption goes up we start running low on the things we need. And then we die out anyway. So in a way, we’d be making life better for our children and our children’s children and so on and so forth. It’s like social security that never runs dry.
The one big pitfall of this whole scheme is that there may come a time where we run out of the very stuff that makes this whole operation work. Sadly I have no ways of fixing that. But by the time that has happened a comet will have probably collided with the earth anyway. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather not be in a “normal” state of mind when that boom happens.
Ask the dinosaurs. They’ve never quite been the same.
*Just need to clarify that while I’m saying we should all do drugs, I don’t really think we should all do drugs. I don’t want someone to get the wrong impression. Nothing I’ve written here is saying that we should be medicated constantly. Life would just probably be a lot sillier if we were.