When A Girl Tells You They Want to Be Single (and how to have fun when finding that out)

When a girl tells you they want to be single they never really want to be single. Don’t get me wrong, some gals do want to be single, but it’s never because they want to be single. Now, I could be a simpleton, but most girls I know who are single dabble in affairs with other men when they become single. I guess single for girls is different than being single for a guy. Or more accurately, a guy like me.

See, girls may not want to be in a relationship with a guy because they do not want to be tied down. And that, in all honesty, is completely fine with me. Live your life. But I’ve noticed that a lot of the girls I have met who have gone this gingle route have simply moved on from a steady relationship to several rendezvous with other men. Which, again, is fine. But don’t say you’re single because you’re not. Yiou may not have a boyfriend but you certainly aren’t alone.

Now, it could be that I’m the kind of person who is all in when it comes to relationships. When I care for someone, I care hard (please do not take that as something sexual even though I can think of several semi funny puns). Just because you’re ‘single’, some people still need to have someone else to latch onto. It doesn’t mean they are single are single though, it just means they are with several men in short intervals.

I know you may think that I’m calling all single women whores. I’m not. Just because you go on dates doesn’t mean that you’re a whore. It’s a healthy life style that people need to do to find people who they could spend a large part of their life with, and also help find out things about themselves (for instance, I found out that Charles Barkley was not the one for me, although I will never say anything negative about the mans cuddling skills. It was just the tops).

But to say you want to be single and then go on various dates defeats the purpose to me. I may be bitter, but every girl I’ve dated who wanted to be single to ‘find’ themselves ended up being with someone within a matter of weeks. This leads me to my view that girls who want to be single are really jsut shopping around for someone else. Which sucks if you’re me, because I feel like Caldor when it comes to the relationship shopping game.

But let’s not pretend there is this thinly veiled rouse of freedom when it comes to being single when you’re just looking for someone else. Again, there is nothing wrong with that, but let’s jsut call it what it is: Not wanting to be with the one who you were once with.

I think we can all agree that it is not fun to be dumped, no matter how confident you are in yourself. You could even have other interests lined up but you’ll still feel that stinging feeling of not being ‘good’ enough. But there are ways to combat that awful feeling. Here’s a short list of things to dow hen the love of your life wants to be ‘single’.

1. Punch something weaker than you. It will get your anger out and make you feel more like a man. That baby in the stroller shouldn’t have given you that look and you need to put it in it’s place.

2. Punch a wall. You will probably hurt your hand (unless you punch like that baby you struck earlier) and possibly put a whole in your wall. But this gives you the perfect reason to put up you Jonas Brother’s poster to cover the unsightly gash in your wall.

3. Drink heavily. It won’t solve anything, but it will make you feel like you can talk to and get with any girl you happen to see. And when you’re on your knees vomitting chocolate flavored beer in the only stall at The Office, you can pat yourself on the back because you’ve done a great job at drinking. Or a poor one. I tend to see the cup half full.

4. Sleep in as long as you can. When you sleep, you won’t have to think of being lonely. Don’t get me wrong, you still will be and you may even ave dreams that make the situation seem worse, but you may also have dreams that make no sense that will leave you pondering. And let me tell you, pondering the meaning of a dream involving a penguin and a sour faced Pete Rose who won’t share his fruit roll ups is much better than sitting up and thinking about your ex doing awful bodily things with some other guy.

5. Punch yourself. Not too ahrd, but hard enough to make you forget about the failure of your relationship. The effects won’t last long so be prepared for a long night of awkward body movements and needing to buy cover up. I know that I’d be black if I not for that wonderful cosmetic product.

I hope these ideas will help you move on from your rejection. And let’s face it, even if it hasn’t, that baby had it coming to it.

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