A Story About A Spider I Think I Killed

A few nights ago while sitting in my room listening to some music (I believe it was a Tuesday, which is when I listen to old sitcom theme songs on loop for hours trying to match them up with other old sitcoms) a spider ran from beneath my dresser. It was a fairly large spider, though in actuality quite small when compared to a human. Despite that, I was quite startled and threw down a book upon the ‘beast’ (I don’t recall what book I threw but I kind of wish it was Charolette’s Web just for the irony).

I thought I had gotten the little guy but then saw him scamper by again. So I did what any man would do: I left the room and took some tylenol PM to take off the edge. When I deemed enough time had gone past I came back to room and the little guy ran right by me again. This time my aim was a bit better and I hit him. So I like to think anyway. Not to be graphic, but there were remnants of the spider (ie: a leg, some spider insides, ect..) but no real sign of the rest of the spider. I searched my room and there was nothing but a tiny little blob of nothing. Which then made me think. Was there more than one spider infiltrating my room? If so, what did they want? Why did they choose my room when there are far better rooms in my house for spiders?

Needless to say, I’ll never know. But I have a very bad feeling that a badly bruised spider will cause the spider community to become angry and motivated. I’m fearing a spider Jihad may be upon us. Or me. Most likely just me.

So if you happen to see a spider, smile and say sorry for me. It was all just a big misunderstanding.


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