Some Fictional Jobs I put On A Resume

Everyone lies on their resumes. Some of us just go all out. In no particular order.

Catcher of the St. Louis Cardinals.

Bat boy of the St. Louis Cardinals.

Tony La Russa’s professional Sock Drawer keeper.

St. Louis zoning board offical.

Anti-St. Louis Offical Kansas City Division.

Zombie Eradicator

Tom Bosley Manicurist

President of an After Soviet Union Nation that is Artfully Smudged on Every Application that Ends in -stan

Barack Obama Speech Writer

George Bush Speech Writer

Bill Clinton Joke Writer

Louis Anderson Nutrition Advisor

Resume Writer

College Dropout

Black Panther Organizer

Bed Wetter

At this point in the job interview the manger of Perkins will grow curious as to why I keep handing him crumpled tissues with random ink smudges and mucas. He then points down the road to a Denny’s.

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One Response to “Some Fictional Jobs I put On A Resume”

  1. Crunchyface Says:

    Feel free to check out a truly humorous blog at Crunchyface.blogspot

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