To Combat Nickelodeon, Kids Should Smoke Cigarettes

While my niece was at my humble abode a week ago, we gathered around the television set and she proceeded to take the remote and changed the channel to Nickelodeon (which upset me because I wanted to know what Maude would do next). The show that was on Nick at the moment was iCarly, a loveable show about a girl, Carly, and her friend Sam who host a web show where wacky things happen. In-between snippets of their webcast, we get to see into their love life and the perils of being a teen. For instance, I found out that the character Sam had never been kissed ALTHOUGH she made fun of that nimble lad Freddie Benson for never being kissed either. On this episode, they decide to kiss each other to get it over with. This magic moment happens on an apartment balcony with mildly sensuous music playing, and a breeze blowing through Sam’s hair. I know what you’re thinking: hot. And you should be ashamed of yourself for openly admitting that. I know I do.

I have nothing against iCarly really. I do have a problem with how it is marketed to young people. Especially young girls who are already preassured to grow up at far too young an age. All these shows on Nick (ie: iCarly, Drake and Josh, Degrassi, Zoey101, Real Sex, ect..) make being a teen into this glamorous event. They make high school seem like the best possible thing ever. Even better than a petting zoo filled with everyones favorite animal, the Dwarf Blue Sheep(there’s only 200 left on the planet!). Truth is though, high school kind of sucked. A big cluster fuck of people trying to become who they are by impressing others and being what they’re not. And those that didn’t try to conform and fit in were the ones who sat at the last lunch table talking feverishly about the new Duke Nukem code that let you break into the strip joint that was in one level (pixilated breasts never did much for me, but my friend Andrew would say otherwise).

We live in a society where kids are pushed to grow up faster than ever. It could just be my old soul in my relatively young body, but I long to live in the time where kids would have fun by pushing wheels with sticks, tipping cows, and selling war bonds. It seems like a much more innocent way to grow up when compared to being forced to watch as sex and fashion are programmed into young, impressionable brains.

Then again, if it weren’t for the current trends that are plauging the youth, we wouldn’t have great inventions such as Silly Bandz, Bratz Dolls(z?), or that wonderful band, Big Time Rush. Better than the Beatles. Seriously.

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2 Responses to “To Combat Nickelodeon, Kids Should Smoke Cigarettes”

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